When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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