Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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