ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
