should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did angry sex become our thing?
My penis needs a shock collar
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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