I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
