the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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