Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Randomize
