i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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