Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize