But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
