Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize