Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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