Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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