Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
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