You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
