did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
