this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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