Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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