margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
