fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
