Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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