i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
