Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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