It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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