i permit you to call me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
