Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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