his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
