She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
