he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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