If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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