Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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