It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
sex in a hospital.. check
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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