take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
