4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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