sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
