she was so not down for the gang bang
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Come share oat with me in your robe
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
