last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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