He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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