It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
COCAINE IS GR8
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize