I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
