he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
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Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize