You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
