I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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