mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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