those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize