he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
