STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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