Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
