Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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