Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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