Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
