so that wasnt chicken after all
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
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then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
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First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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