five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
