I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He passed out mid-signature
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
