Having a random hookup so left but love u
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
