I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
