what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
