Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
