Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Couch. On fire.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
