this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
