We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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