last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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